People enter into relationships hoping that they won’t have to end them. Long-term commitments and marriage are built on the assumption that they will last forever.
The most common causes of break ups are irreconcilable differences, infidelity, lack of quality time, sexual dissatisfaction and poor communication or lack of positive interactions.
Putting an end to a relationship is difficult. No matter what stage you are in the breakup process or even if you’re already halfway through downhill, communicating this to your partner is not easy.
However making gradual transitions and communicating this in a sensible manner can be less traumatic for both parties.
How to Break Up the Right Way
Is there such a thing as “right way” to break up?
Sure there’s no easy or best way to end a relationship but perhaps, you can do it right and with so much respect.
Allowing your partner to walk away from the relationship with dignity may be the right way. It’s the least you could do to end things on a good note.
Here are some pieces of advice on how to communicate with your partner during the break up process;
Understand that there’s no such thing as a painless way to break up
No matter how broken or dysfunctional the relationship is, ending it will still cause pain on both parties.
Understanding this can help you manage your emotions well, will enable you to become selective with your words and become more sensitive towards the feelings of your partner.
Do it in person
Muster the courage to face your partner. Don’t attempt to end a relationship via email, text message or by any other means other than doing it in person.
Express your respect towards your partner and your relationship by showing up and communicating your intentions face-to-face.
Things may have gone a long way from how you started during courtship but things didn’t work out. Still, your partner deserves your time, honesty and sincerity nonetheless.
Avoid lengthy explanations
Don’t justify yourself, your mistakes and your shortcomings. A breakup is already hard as it is so avoid adding further insult to the injury.
Acknowledge where you and your partner went wrong and move on from there.
A breakup is still a breakup regardless of how it’s done. So you might as well do it on a good note.
Avoid the blame game
Your partner may argue and give reasons why it didn’t work out. Accept things as they are and don’t blame your partner.
Apologize, be polite and stay calm. Avoid the “it’s not you, it’s me” point of reasoning because it can only divert the attention towards a different argument.
Breaking up shouldn’t be a battle of emotions and who committed more mistakes. It’s an opportunity to have a proper closure. So leave it at that.
Express your own sadness over the breakup
Be sensitive enough to honor your relationship and your partner until the end.
Don’t give your partner a look of disgust. Instead, be sincere enough to express your sadness over the situation.
Even without saying a word, your silence and gestures can express a lot of things.
Remember that no matter how much you want to end the relationship, breakups can still be traumatic for either or both of you. The least you could do is to show some genuine concern and sincerity.